"Desperate Housewives" (Genesis 29:31-30:24)
There was a tv show on ABC when I was growing up called “Wide World of Sports”. This was WAY before ESPN, Fox Sports, and the rest.
It had an opening montage every week. The first was a film clip of a runner running through a finish line tape just ahead of his competitors, and showed a big smile on his face. Then the scene shifted to a downhill ski race, with a close up on a competitor wiping out in the snow as the others passed him by. Over the top of these two clips, the announcer said “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.”
While everyone wants to win, it seems like we humans seem to remember the crash and burn moments more clearly. We just remember the moments that we feel superior to someone else better than the moments in which we feel inferior. Yet we always strive for that “thrill of victory”.
Recently, we have studied a lot of failure mixed in with a few victories. In the last few chapters, Isaac lost his eyesight, Esau lost his birthright, and Rebekah lost her favorite son. Most recently, Rachel lost to her older sister Leah who was able to marry Jacob first, and Leah lost to Rachel because Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah. Everyone seems to be losing. However, we must remember that, for the person who trusts in God, defeat is never final. Beginning today with Gen 29:31, we will learn how God can overcome human sin and failure and turns them into something beautiful.
In 29:31, Moses writes, “Now Adonai saw that Leah was unloved, so he opened her womb; but Rachel was unable to conceive..”
There was another tv show a bit more recently, also on ABC. It was called “Desperate Housewives”. It was about several female frenemies that continually strived to be better than each other, and who would stop at nothing to get there. Spouses, jobs, and reputations were all fair game, at least if you believe the promos. That’s a little like Rachel and Leah.
Our story today begins with two desperate housewives. One is desperate for love; the other is desperate for children. These women are sisters and both are married to the same man. Ladies, can you imagine this scenario—you and your sister married to the same man? To make matters worse, your husband prefers one of you over the other. Furthermore, each of you is desperate for what the other has. From the start of this story, the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. This is a story truly worthy of that TV show.
Scripture records that Leah was “unloved”. The Hebrew could just as easily have been translated as “hated”. That’s not a word that a lady wants her husband to use when talking about their relationship.
Nevertheless, Jacob’s feelings for her didn’t stop him from sleeping with her, as they did have several children together. Many feel that was God’s way of balancing the scales, as Jacob clearly loved Rachel the most.
The idea is that God intervened in Leah’s life because He “is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”, according to Psalms 34:18. Leah becoming a mother ensured that her stock would rise in Jacob’s estimation, as well as the estimation of her family and society in general. In that society, the more children a woman bore, the higher her worth as a wife and mother.
As we see in the next four verses, Leah bears four consecutive sons! Beginning in 29:32, “Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son and named him Reuben because she said, “For Adonai has seen my affliction. Surely now my husband will love me.”
Reuben literally means “see, a son.” His name reflects what was going through Leah’s mind. She is saying, “I have a son! My position is secure!” Leah saw Reuben’s birth as confirmation that the Lord loved her and she made the assumption that now Jacob would love her as well. But this was not to be the case. Jacob was so much in love with her sister, Rachel, that he could never love her.
The Lord strikes again in chapter 29 and verse 33, “Then she became pregnant again and gave birth to a son, and said, ‘For Adonai heard that I am hated, so He’s given me this one also,’ and she named him Simeon.” Simeon means “hear or listen.” Now, obviously, she desperately wants to get Jacob’s attention. So she’s saying, “Listen up man, here’s another son. Are you even paying attention to the fact that the Lord is blessing our marriage, but not yours and Rachel’s?”
In 29:34, Leah , ”Then she became pregnant again and gave birth to a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will join himself to me because I’ve given birth to three sons for him.” For this reason he was named Levi. “
The name Levi means “attached or associated.” Leah desperately wants to win her husband’s love. She thinks that by giving him three sons he will become emotionally attached to her. But in this particular instance, the third time is not the charm. Regardless, Levi was an influential child. The book of Leviticus, the tribe of Levi, and Israel’s priesthood would all come through Levi.
Finally, in the last verse of chapter 29, Leah conceived again and bore her fourth son and said, “This time I will praise the LORD.’ Therefore she named him Judah” (29:35a). Judah’s name means, “praise.” Praise is the perfect name for this son because the Messiah, Jesus Christ, would come through the line of Judah.
The last phrase of 29:35 reads, “Then she stopped bearing.” This is rather strange. In quick order, Leah gives birth to four boys. After delivering her fourth child, she attributes praise to the Lord. One would think the Lord would have given her more children. Why did He close her womb? The answer seems to be that, at this moment of her life, Leah came to terms with the fact that Jacob wasn’t going to love her. She was hoping for his love but in absence of that the Lord said, “I love you—will I do?”
It seems that, for this season, Leah became content with the Lord being her husband, so the Lord didn’t add to her number. Instead, He allowed her to concentrate on Him.
Your spouse may be emotionally distant, verbally abusive, or even unfaithful. Maybe your spouse has abandoned you, with children to raise. Maybe you have lost your spouse or never even had one. The Lord wants you to know that He is enough for you. When you feel discouraged and defeated, He will be there for you like no one else can. In this story of Desperate Housewives, God seeks to teach both sisters this valuable lesson.
Chapter 30 begins with a bang: “When Rachel saw that she bore no children for Jacob, Rachel was jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me sons—if there are none, I’ll die!”
Rachel lets Jacob have it with both guns loaded! In their society, it was the job of the wife to bear and raise children. She was concerned that other people would consider her to be a worthless wife. Meanwhile, she sees her sister doing really well in this area. She is literally embarrassed to show herself in public. You know how human nature is. “Bless her heart! Poor Rachel must have done something really bad for God to curse her that way. It’s so lucky that Jacob has Leah to bear his children.”
Rachel was upset, and couldn’t do anything about it, so she lashed out to the one closest to her: Jacob, her husband!
Rachel doesn’t consider her life worth living if she can’t be a mother. Ironically, she later dies in the process of giving Jacob her child - Benjamin (35:16-19). Rachel became jealous of God’s favor upon her older sister. This destroyed her from the inside out. Rachel’s response was wrong and it immediately put Jacob on the defensive.
2 But Jacob became furious with Rachel and said, “Am I, instead of God, the one who withheld from you the fruit of the womb?”
The word “furious” (anaph) literally means “to breathe hard, be enraged, flare the nostrils.” In Hebrew the phrase literally reads, “and the anger of Jacob was hot.” He is steamed! Notice Jacob responds with a correct theological truth, acknowledging that he is not God, and hence cannot control Rachel’s womb. In his hot reply, Jacob seems to be implying, “It’s not my fault you have no children. Don’t go after me; go after God. I have kids everywhere.” Obviously, this is not the way that a husband should respond to his wife.
Guys, have you ever noticed that when we don’t have answers and can’t easily fix things, we can have a tendency to get impatient and angry?
Tamra and I took a class a few years ago called “2 Becoming 1”. One of the things that I learned from this class was that, sometimes, when a wife brings a problem to us, she doesn’t necessarily want us to fix it! That is what we guys WANT to do...we go into problem solving mode and try to figure out how to fix it for her.
Instead, all she may want is a hug or a sympathetic ear. Rachel certainly didn’t need it thrown up in her face that Jacob had other kids, and she needed to get right with God!
At this point in our story, Rachel didn’t need a lecture on theology or gynecology. She needed the gentle and loving understanding of her husband and the encouragement that only his love could provide.
Maybe a better solution would have been to wrap his arms around her and say something like, “Honey, I’m sorry that you are upset about this. I love you no matter what, but the only thing that I know to do about it is to pray with you that God changes things.
That is what Isaac did when he and Rebekah were in the same situation. He prayed for his wife and God blessed her with children (25:21).
But no prayers are mentioned here. Instead, Jacob, in turn, became angry with Rachel. Guys, take it from me, this is always a bad move. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Peter tells us that we are to “live with your wives in an understanding way … and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Pet 3:7).
So Rachel came up with a new plan in verses 3 and 4: “‘So she said, “Here’s my maid-servant Bilhah. Go to her and let her give birth on my knees, so that from her I may also build a family.”
Doesn’t this sound familiar? You would have thought that she would have learned from Sarah’s example. In Chapter 16, when Sarah couldn’t get pregnant, she told Abraham to sleep with Hagar. Rachel is following the example of Sarah.
Today, that just sounds really, really stupid, especially since Ishmael and Isaac had so many issue. But in those days, when a woman could not provide her husband with a child, it was a common practice to give her female slave as a wife and claim the child of this union as her own. So this was culturally acceptable and completely legal.
However, just because something is culturally and legally acceptable doesn’t make it right for the believer. Abortion is both culturally and legally acceptable, yet it is dead wrong! Jacob should have been an example of faith and godliness to Rachel. He should have immediately rejected her suggestion and turned to the Lord in prayer. Instead, with little or no protest, he agreed to Rachel’s plan.
Our story continues in verses 4 through 8: “4Then she gave her maid-servant Bilhah to him for a wife, and Jacob went to her. 5Bilhah became pregnant and gave birth to a son for Jacob. 6So Rachel said, “God has judged my cause and also heard my voice—and given me a son.” Therefore she named him Dan. 7Then Rachel’s female servant became pregnant again and gave birth to a second son for Jacob. 8So Rachel said, “I’ve surely wrestled greatly with my sister — also I’ve won.” So she named him Naphtali.”
Can’t you just hear the anger? Rachel says, “I have won! I have both the love of my husband AND kids. Leah can’t compete with that!” Rachel went from “the agony of defeat” to the “thrill of victory” in a hurry.
This is a classic example of “the end justifying the means.” Sometimes when we sin and things work out, we justify it. We even attribute it to God!
If we date an unbeliever and eventually the unbeliever gets saved, we think, “Yes, this was God’s will all along.”
When we compromise our convictions and get a job promotion, we quote Rom 8:28: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
But God is not party to sin! Can He use us in spite of our sin? Of course! Can He still accomplish His purposes in the midst of our sin? You better believe it! But He would prefer not to…and He’ll hold us accountable for our sin.
Now this is where the war of the womb intensifies. Since Rachel now has two surrogate children, Leah gets back into the jealousy game. Up until now, Leah has produced her own children. But now that she is no longer conceiving, she resorts to the same tactics as Rachel.
Her motto seems to be, “Anything you can do, I can do better.” In 30:9-13, Moses writes, “9Now Leah saw that she stopped having children, so she took Zilpah her female servant and gave her to Jacob as a wife. 10Then Zilpah, Leah’s female servant, gave birth to a son for Jacob. 11Leah said, “How fortunate!” So she named him Gad. 12Then Zilpah, Leah’s female servant, gave birth to a second son for Jacob. 13Leah said, “How happy am I, for daughters have called me happy.” So she named him Asher. “
Leah must have been watching Star Wars that day, as she start talking like Yoda: “Happy am I!” “Speaks that way, Yoda does!”
I would say that the Force was strong in this one, but that clearly wasn’t the case. God is the True Force, and I don’t think that he had anything at all to do with this plan.
Leah seems to have lost her focus. She praised God when she gave birth to Judah, and seemed to be content with that. But she is now intent on her own happiness and what other women think and say. Obviously, this is not what God would have us to seek.
Do you remember the song “Love Potion Number 9”? Or maybe you saw the movie of the same name… it’s about a guy who can’t seem to find love on his own, and so he goes to a gypsy and purchases a magic bottle of Love Potion Number 9...guaranteed to make the one you love, love you.
That’s kinda where this story goes from here. Let’s pick it up with verse 14: “Now during the days of the wheat harvest, Reuben went and found mandrakes in the field and he brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”
Mandrakes were the Love Potion Number 9 of that day. They had a reputation of making the object of your affection desire you more AND for a no extra cost bonus, they were believed to help a woman conceive. It was a 2 for 1 special: an aphrodisiac AND a fertility booster. What could go wrong with that plan?
Knowing that, why did Rachel think that Leah would help her out in that way?
Our story continues in 30:15: “15But she said to her, “Wasn’t it enough that you took my husband away? You’d also take away my son’s mandrakes?” So Rachel said, “That being so, let him lie with you tonight, in exchange for your son’s mandrakes.”
The wonkiness continues here. Leah says to Rachel “Wasn’t it enough that you took my husband away?” when, in actuality, it was the other way around. But instead of pleading her case, Rachel decides to settle the issue by pimping out Jacob!
I know—this is really sick, even by today’s standards! Fortunately, I don’t write this material, I just teach it!
In 30:16, we see what happens: “16So when Jacob came from the field in the evening, Leah went out to meet him, and she said, ‘You must come to me. For I’ve actually hired you with my son’s mandrakes.’ So he lay with her that very night.”
Jacob puts up no protest. Instead of taking charge of the situation and deciding for himself what he was going to do, he did nothing to stop this competition. Maybe he even got an ego buzz from the 2 women fighting over him.
In any event, he was letting the 2 women to decide his path in life. He still wasn’t seeking God for any answers, and was a far cry from the priest of the household that he was supposed to be.
In 30:17-21, Moses writes, “17Moreover, God heard Leah, and she became pregnant and gave birth to a fifth son for Jacob. 18Leah said, “God gave me my reward because I gave my female servant to my husband.” So she named him Issachar. 19Then Leah became pregnant again and gave birth to a sixth son for Jacob. 20Leah said, “God has presented me a good gift. This time my husband will honor me for I’ve borne six sons for him.” So she named him Zebulun. 21Afterwards she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah. “
Can you imagine how shocking all of this must have been for Rachel? Rachel, who has the mandrakes, remains barren for three more years; Leah, who doesn’t have the mandrakes, has three more kids.
So much for Love Potion Number 9...
Leah has a total of seven children—the number of perfection. This is more than all the other three women in this story. However, she never received what she desired most—Jacob’s love. How sad! Leah spent all of these years trying to win her husband’s approval, but it never happened. She spent the rest of her life in a loveless marriage, even though she had born half of the sons who would be the fathers of half the tribes of Israel.
It appears that both sisters were initially caught up in the mandrake factor and were not seeking the Lord for their children, or anything else. That sounds a lot like us. Why is it that we are willing to trust in everything but the Lord? We’ll spend hours on the phone with friends, but we won’t spend five minutes in prayer to our God. We’ll read self-help books, but we won’t read the Bible. We’ll listen to Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil, but we won’t inquire of the Lord.
In this story, both women wanted what the other had. Leah felt that having sons for Jacob would somehow earn his love, while Rachel was as desperate for children as Sarah had been before her.
Giving birth degenerated into competition. I find it interesting that, despite their unique role in the kingdom of God, both Rachel and Leah were unhappy with their circumstances: Rachel: “If only I had sons like my sister!” Leah: “If only I had my sister’s beauty and the love of Jacob.”
Have you ever met an “if only …” Christian? “If only I had a better husband or better wife.” “If only I had a better job and more money.” “If only I had a newer house and nicer furniture.” “If only I didn’t have these kids!” We would do well to remember the words of the apostle Paul: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Phil 4:12-13 NIV).
Our story concludes in 30:22-24: “22Then God remembered Rachel and God listened to her and opened her womb. 23Then she became pregnant and gave birth to a son. So she said, “God has taken away my disgrace.” 24She named him Joseph saying, “May Adonai add another son for me.”
God had not forgotten Rachel. The word translated “remembered” here literally means that he turned His attention towards here.
We can imply from this that after the “Love Potion” mandrakes didn’t work, Rachel began to pray and God answered her prayer. As a result, Joseph was born. Joseph became the son who saved his family (the Israelites) during the time of famine. He has been used as a type of Christ throughout the Bible.
The thread of this entire story is the movement from barrenness (29:31) to birth (30:22). For all the maneuverings of the sisters, it is still only God who opens the womb. The point that God is making is this: Birth was not accomplished by human action but by God remembering Rachel.Rachel had to wait 14 years before she had her first child. Yet, we see that God came through for her. Ironically, that is the same length of time that her husband had to work to obtain her as a wife.
God is faithful to accomplish His purposes, even through the deceitful actions of Laban and Jacob, and the jealous hatred of Jacob’s two wives. God is a God of grace. He used these sinful people. If God can work in and through these wicked and impatient individuals, He can work in and through you! But to receive God’s best results, He expects you to exercise patience and trust in Him.
Our Takeaways
1) Trust God
2) Turn to God first, not last
3) If we try to help things along, we need to know that there are consequences to be paid.
4) God will have His way in spite of us.