I recently read a devotional about the true role of a wife according to a literal translation of the Hebrew. It really made a lot of sense to me.
I have paraphrased it below. You can read the full text here: https://israelbiblecenter.com/the-unlikely-role-of-a-biblical-woman/
In the Torah we read the following about Eve’s primary function: The LORD God said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a fitting helper for him.” (Gen. 2:18)
The Hebrew word for “woman” is isha and the word for “man” is ish. What is interesting, however, is that these two words, ish and isha, although they sound similar do NOT share a common Hebrew root.
The word אִישׁ (ish) comes from the root אִוֵּשׁ, connoting “strength”, while the word אִשָּׁה (isha) comes from the root אֲנָשׁ (anash), meaning “fragile”. The Hebrew Bible, while acknowledging the woman to be a “weaker vessel” (as in 1 Peter 3:7), assigned to a woman a very important role indeed.
Unfortunately, the English word “helper” does not sufficiently communicate the power of the original Hebrew meaning. This word is, in fact, a military term. The use of עֵזֶר (ezer) “helper” connotes an active intervention on behalf of someone. It describes someone who is committed to your well-being to the extent that s/he is willing to die or kill for you.
Most English translations (including the one cited above) describe Adam’s life-partner, Eve, as something akin to a “fitting helper”. However, the Hebrew phrase עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ (ezer kenegdo), if translated more literally, carries an intriguing meaning. Eve is described in oppositional terms, as “a helper who is against him”. It is also interesting that Proverbs 31:10 in referring to wisdom personified as a woman, calls her a אֵשֶׁת-חַיִל (eshet chayil) “a woman-soldier”!
After reading the above, I had a couple of thoughts...
The first is that this "weaker vessel" is FIERCE. In the animal kingdom, mothers are very protective of their young. Don't try to separate a momma bear from her cub. You would be risking your life to do so. In the same manner, the Hebrew word isha, using it's "active intervention" definition, is used to describe a wife that is willing to fight for her spouse, to the point of death. That's more than being a "help-meet". That's being a loyal protector.
We husbands are called to do the same thing. In Ephesians 5:25, we are told "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
I have always known that a husband should be willing to lay down his life for his wife; but until I read the full range of meaning of isha, I did not realize that the wife also should be that fiercely protective of her husband. Perhaps one of the reasons that there are so many divorces today is that the husbands and wives today lack that protective fierceness that the Scriptures say that we should have.
But then, if the wife is to be THAT protective, what could the Scriptures mean when it tells us that a wife is "a helper that is against him". Isn't that a contradiction of terms?
Not really. God intended for us to complete each other. Tamra has strengths where I have weakness. The reverse is also true. In my own life, Tamra has challenged me to be a better husband, father, pastor, and man. She has a unique way of shining a spotlight on those areas in me that need to be surrendered to God, and lovingly supports me in that journey. I hope that I do the same for her.
My prayer for you is as follows:
For those who are married, that you are married to a spouse that will fiercely guard and protect you to the death, but who loves you enough to be against you when it is in your best interest.
For those who are married, but do not have that kind of relationship, some advice: become that to your partner, and pray for him/her, that they become so sold out to the Lord that they become what God had intended.
For those of you still seeking a partner; pray for your future spouse, even though you likely do not know who that person is. Pray that they are or will become someone that will fulfill the ish and the isha definitions in every sense of the word. Then strive to become that person yourself. And don't be in a hurry; God's timing is incredible. I had so much to change in me that I didn't marry my "isha" until I was 50 years old. Yes, I was frustrated at times, and mad at God, and even decided that I wanted to remain single the rest of my life. But God knew when I was who I was supposed to be, and He knew when Tamra was who He had intended. We each still had a lot to learn from each other, but God put us together when we had that willingness.
May each of you find your true Ish and Isha.